Saturn

I am afraid

of the way

this poem

unravels,

telling more

than my heart

has dared to

tell my mind

foolish and reckless

this poem

comes running

to finger tips

with no answers

just questions

and too many feelings.

who are you and how did you get here?

do you love as easy as you speak?

what magic is your skin made of?

who do I thank for your smile?

for the laughter like rings ?

for you as beautiful as Saturn?

this poem

knows your gravity

the certainty of orbits

turning me into nothing

into everything

into this cliff diver

astronaut dare devil

and you

Saturn

So beautiful without

me,

just another one of your 52 moons,

watching from a distance

as this poem

unravels

and no one is watching

not even my mind

who still thinks

this poem

is about

everything

else

but falling

for you

and those rings

oh,

Saturn

..your rings

Logic

There was a boy I loved more than any other boy

There was a boy who smiled as if smiles where brand new

There was a boy who cried love when there was no love at all

There was a boy I lost as quickly as I found

There was a boy

There was a boy

There was a boy

There will always be a boy worth loving more than the one before

You. Me. & My Self Hate.

don’t worry
you cannot hurt me

i have willing
to bleed myself
dry for you
before I even met you

and i knew
I would disgust you
so I waited for nightfall
to come naked to you
contorting into any position
you need me to be in
holding breath for fear
of panting you away

I don’t expect to be special
to walk down streets holding hands
to meet family members

anything you want
I am willing to give you
my tongue will never lash
and my eyes will always
look the other way

the tears will wait for you to leave
jealousy tucked beneath nails
all of these feelings will remain feelings
and never words you will forced to hear

I will try not to be fat for you
give you shame as an apology
and when I don’t succeed
accept your infidelity as punishment

i am sorry
if you’ve ever
caught a glimpse
of the amazing in me
I know you have no intentions
of ever meeting it
so I try and keep it
under lock and key

I love you
and although you will never understand it
I will say it any chance I get
and if you ever repeat it
I’ll believe you
even if I know
you’ve only said it
to decorate the silence

there is more pain in solitude
than there is in humiliation

i will take whatever you give me
so long as you give me anything
or at least allow me to create something

there is no ending
to this vortex soul of mine

I can see how easy
the amazing in me can get lost

so lost
even I
have lost
complete sight
of it

baby,
anything you want
I am willing
to give you

but please
do not
leave me
alone
with myself

to look for.