Friday, January 22, 2010

The Kamikaze Hearts

it is silly this way that you love
as if words were butterflies
caught on backs of hands
finger tips hovering over wings
almost tempted to see if touch
really shatters moments like this.
you speak as if words had no home
- throw them out there
no strings around ankles
nothing to remind them
the heaviness of comfort.
your tongue is a crazed scientist
and this love
its Frankenstein.

I told her, if I had to endure
this kind of chaos
I would have pulled out my hair
and put your out eyes by now

I do not know how to love
the way that she does
waiting for walls to perspire
just to catch the sweat
you both pressed against them
waiting for bed sheets
to sigh good morning
knowing there will be
a spider web afterthought of
how beautiful your skin looked
light against dark
as if dawn where erupting between them

silly man, tell me
where does practicality
fit in all of this
how do you love
and know
that it is that simple
love because you said so
and time isn’t your enemy
love because she’s magic
and you the magician
smokes and mirrors
work for your advantage
but I don’t understand
when I see her eyes clouded
and your name fresh on her lips
as if you’ve sawed her in half
and forgotten to finish the trick

tell me,
what does forever feel like
because the only time I ever loved
was too long after love forgot my name
spent twilight's hovering in places
that had long ago forgotten
what my indent on its mattress felt like
smelled other lovers on my lover
and pretended it was my own scent
while this hunger mutilated feet
howled like an ambulance in the dark
and my sweetheart couldn’t remember
what I was doing in his arms in the first place.

tell me,
what ever after’s you believe in
because my only example of a happy marriage
fell apart twenty five years later
as if a lifetime could be reduced to a one way ticket
to the farthest corner away from the mother of your children
and voices become sandpaper scraping roofs of mouth
there is blood in the corner of lips
everyone tired of speaking truth
because honesty doesn’t wear well over jagged hearts

and I don’t know
how she does it
this woman that loves you

you are amazing
but the waiting is horrible
and she does it
like magic
like stardust
like understanding that
sometimes it is hard to believe
when someone truly loves you

and perhaps I am asking
the wrong person
but I need you to tell me
how do you get
someone to love you
kamikaze like this?

so silly
butterfly wings
and Frankenstein limbs
are worth waiting
in the dark for

and she tells me
that she simply
just has to

and I cant help
but wish
I had to
with someone

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rancheras Make Me Think Of You

that song
like running water
through my living
is you

"estoy pensando en ti hasta la muerte"

spills all over the couch
with its plastic covers
same couch
where we kissed and
you used to taste like
dulce de leche
mi atol de elote
sweetest pan dulce

and in the back round:

and a voice
like god
like hell
hearts dying
and lovers loving

"poooor tu maaaldito aaamor"

and angry

i loved you


The way
We used to
When we were in church
Shoulders shaking
So hard
We could have been
It felt so good
That our
Bloodshot eyes
Didn’t matter so much
And I began to see
Those white teeth
I adored.
I never noticed the day
We weren’t girls anymore
Your hands seem more dignified now
And I no longer wear pink everyday.
There are shadows trailing behind us
Oh but we laughed
So hard our stomach’s hurt
And I instantly remembered
At age five
God places us in the same school yard
And announced you
My best friend.

Twenty one years and counting.
Here’s to us.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Lai Ming

And I
crawl out of myself
Into you
Tongue first
Turning loops
In your hair
Pulling handfulls
The sweat
From our pores
In this kiss
And your hand
Is my waist
My waist is
Your hand
Your arm
Your very own waist
- We are.
The wind
Splits in half
To avoid
Touching us
And the same does Night
Lifting her veil in subtle recognition
And we created morning
While the sun
Continued sleeping
As our teeth
And I
Left all of my very own
Lonely Kingdoms
To climb into you
Arms of octopus
Mouth of oblivion
Pandora’s heart shaped box

I dram you again
And whispered:

Kiss me
Kiss me

…if only
The dead
Could return
A kiss.

The Understanding

hands. are hands.
even when they hurt.

know that,

And no one
is more human
than you

when they

things cannot be
and i never was


they do not know
these words
we typed
and sang
and laughed
and cried
and danced

and wide eyed
was too busy
words. that are just words.
even when they hurt

remember that baby,

no one is more
immortal than you
because you understand:

laughter. is laughter.
especially when it hurts.

and it is our inheritance
to dance
even when it
rains stones

Line 2 Westbound

Bus rides

Here we are

Two of us

Legs slightly touching
Shoulder to shoulder
I could smell you
I smile
You just showered

I want to touch your knee
A slight gesture
Just to
Make you smile
I bet you have a
beautiful smile

The bus makes a turn
and I press into you
Feeling your warmth
through the layers of our clothes
Searching for a taste
of your arm hooked into mine.


There is a perfect birthmark on your jaw line
That could easily be traced by my lips
Or my finger

My stop is coming
And for a fleeting second
I think of skipping it
Riding with you
To the end of our silent world
Sharing in the complicity
Of a thousand
Love an endless possibility
We could unfold like the road

I don't know you
The light is changing


I'm left on the corner
As you ride off into the sunset.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


There isn’t
Enough hope
To last until

When I use my pen
And create
Some other ending

A sun filled midnight
Blue birds in the trees
Their silver songs
Coaxing smiles
Out of you
Out of me

I’ve rewritten the
Loneliest parts of
The world
And now,
You are never alone

I am here
I am here

When you’re dying for a drink
Listen to the blue birds
Dancing in the trees

feel my hand running through your hair
My lips against your cheek
Your eyes, my eyes
My voice calling you into the morning

I am here
Always here

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Helen Keller Kind of Love

too much
was missing

Tiempo Tuyo

Will never be filed
Like documents and facts
Or collected
Like hands and fingers that fold on laps.

It will always be you and I
And the rush of air
Passed from lip to lip

The tracing of your tongue on my earlobes
Salt of your sex on my lips

The minutes and centuries released
Like collected sighs
That you and I stored
Knowing sunrise and sunsets
Mean nothing

Time is hidden
In these veins
That quiver and pulse
Beneath your touch

A million years of you and more.

you. blow jobs. and me.

When I kneel with
your dick in my mouth

I think about death,
Underwear ads
And overdue library books.

I remember the
mismatched socks
Unfinished poems
Rings around the bath tub.

-You ask something
As you grab
Handfuls of my hair
I mumble and nod
But continue mentally
Balancing my check book-

“Baby…ooohhh…im coming…”

And its devotion
Fireworks; glory.
A good woman
who pleases her man.

Another chore
checked off my
to-do list.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Venus of A Man

treat me like you’re full

as if there is enough of me
caught within your thunderstorms

spin me
different than the rest
give me and excuse
to be
the brightest
one of all

i’ve seen your scars
matched them to mine
i’ve seen you bright
wishing I understood

evening star of mine,
treat me like you’re full

as if
i’ve been melted
for you

it is terrible
your gravity
sucking me dry

and still
you are never